My left hand is completely bruised, i didnt even know with my skin complexion that i COULD bruise. My right wrist wont bend past a certain point - the swelling hasnt gone down yet.
Last week, for the first time in my life i was admitted to the hospital, had a kneedle sticking out of my arm for the last week. - have four holes at variouse places in both my arms. More details on that (with pictures) later on.
But the pain of my body is a temporal reality - it exists, but it is barely real at best. The worst, has been not the pain, not throwing up every morning, not having your arm numbed by the cold liquid being injected directly into your bloodstream... but the THINKING. The thinking kills.
You know - right now - iv just had my medication, and its starting to seep into my brain - and im thinking, ke yaar - once, just ONCE i wish there would be no complications - i wish that it wouldnt be a "right now" answer. I wish i could just get a yes or a no - it would make life so much easier wouldnt it?
But then, right now, it would be unfair to get a yes, and i so dont want to here a no - no matter what i tell myself.
Bronze Goddess - why cant i get that phrase out of my mind? She looked so absolutely amazing today. Thats probably why.
You know, im going to publish this, and i know that if the medication wasnt making my mind just a teensy weensy bit tipsy i probably would have never even written this... but
for the record.
It sucks, to want what you cannot have - i think that should become the theme for this blog - kaash. That one word, implies so much more then its english counterparts could ever hope to communicate.
I want You.
PS - welcome to the jungle everyone, hope youve packed well enough for the ride - if you hear the voices, they are directed at the guide, do not heed them yourself - because if you hear them then how will he? And if the guide cant hear the voices - then your doomed, lost - because he really doesnt know the way himself.
Hello everyone - welcome to jungle - shhhhh... can you hear the voices whispering?
Last week, for the first time in my life i was admitted to the hospital, had a kneedle sticking out of my arm for the last week. - have four holes at variouse places in both my arms. More details on that (with pictures) later on.
But the pain of my body is a temporal reality - it exists, but it is barely real at best. The worst, has been not the pain, not throwing up every morning, not having your arm numbed by the cold liquid being injected directly into your bloodstream... but the THINKING. The thinking kills.
You know - right now - iv just had my medication, and its starting to seep into my brain - and im thinking, ke yaar - once, just ONCE i wish there would be no complications - i wish that it wouldnt be a "right now" answer. I wish i could just get a yes or a no - it would make life so much easier wouldnt it?
But then, right now, it would be unfair to get a yes, and i so dont want to here a no - no matter what i tell myself.
Bronze Goddess - why cant i get that phrase out of my mind? She looked so absolutely amazing today. Thats probably why.
You know, im going to publish this, and i know that if the medication wasnt making my mind just a teensy weensy bit tipsy i probably would have never even written this... but
for the record.
It sucks, to want what you cannot have - i think that should become the theme for this blog - kaash. That one word, implies so much more then its english counterparts could ever hope to communicate.
I want You.
PS - welcome to the jungle everyone, hope youve packed well enough for the ride - if you hear the voices, they are directed at the guide, do not heed them yourself - because if you hear them then how will he? And if the guide cant hear the voices - then your doomed, lost - because he really doesnt know the way himself.
Hello everyone - welcome to jungle - shhhhh... can you hear the voices whispering?
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