Lying on my bed, blue sheets white walls and my brown furry blanket. She is lying there next to me - me under the cover - her out. Her leg is wrapped around mine, her eyes on the paper propped in front of her - furiously concentratng. My arm is wrapped around her... holding her - but not too close - just close enough. Im looking at her... just... looking. Watching how her hair falls around her face, feeling her breathing under my arm, watching her eyes - never leaving the paper. The depth of her concentration amazes me - in the same situation i wouldnt be able to read two words and remember them - and yet she reads, on and on and on. I begin to play with her lips, she lets me for a few seconds, and then bites my finger. I let her bite harder. She scolds me then - she needs to study. I pout, but to no avail - shes allready back into her reading. I begin to read alongside her, coming closer to see the words, feeling her hair around me. I read and read and read - forgetting the words the moment i pass on, but reading nonetheless.

She stirs a little - and any concentration i previously had was shattered. I go back - to just looking - completely seriouse, she asks why - i have no answer. But inside i know why there is no smile on my lips or laughter in my eyes - im concentrating - trying to remember every single detail, every line - stolen moments that will only be relived again and again in my mind - even then, i know. Only in my mind.

I wake up the next day - blindly searching for thoughts in my head. Was it real? Was it a Dream? And then - i can smell her on my pillow - and i fall into myself - again and again and again, until i hit the concrete and splatter into a million little peices - little globules of mercury that are whole in themselves and yet... smaller. I open my eyes, sit up - to face the realities of THIS day.

Its happened before, it will happen again every time i close my eyes...