i love you much(most beautiful darling)more than anyone on the earth and ilike you better than everything in the sky -sunlight and singing welcome your coming although winter may be everywherewith such a silence and such a darknessnoone can quite begin to guess (except my life)the true time of year- and if what calls itself a world should havethe luck to hear such singing(or glimpse suchsunlight as will leap higher than highthrough gayer than gayest someone's heart at your each nearerness)everyone certainly would(mymost beautiful darling)believe in nothing but love

e. e. cummings

it is at moments after i have dreamedof the rare entertainment of your eyes,when (being fool to fancy) i have deemedwith your peculiar mouth my heart made wise;at moments when the glassy darkness holdsthe genuine apparition of your smile(it was through tears always) and silence mouldssuch strangeness as was mine a little while;moments when my once more illustrious armsare filled with fascination, when my breastwears the intolerant brightness of your charms:one pierced moment whiter than the rest-turning from the tremendous lie of sleepi watch the roses of the day grow deepe

e e cummings
(Taken without permission from minas blog)

You know something

E e cummings is a bitch

cause he always says it just right,

in a way that wont make you smile,

oh no he wont make you smile,

but hell make you FEEL it.

All of it...

I just painted.

It isnt an amazing painting, done in ink with brush.

But its a painting.

wow.

Looking at it, even five minutes after its done, i can allready show some parts where things are wrong. Where the perspective is wrong, or my hand wavered. But i like it.

I just painted.

Without a sketch, just a brush taken to plain paper. And its been ages since iv felt the rush of blood to my veins making my hands tremble ever so slightly, as that first brush stroke takes to paper. Just not wanting to mess up that first brush stroke - everything after that is easy. To make matters worse, it was a new sketchpad - i FINALLY got the type of sketchpad i was looking for, a big black hard bound book wiTHOUT spirals - but normal book binding. I would have hated myself for messing up the first page. But the first stroke came out fine, as did the second, and then i messed up the eyebrow a bit, but i was too far along to just trash it. And i just went with the flow, painting more and thinking less and just letting my hands work. Painting from the arm and the wrist, like i know im not supposed to but have always felt more comfortable doing. Paint with the FINGERS THE FINGERS and a smooth wrist i can just hear my teacher yelling at me.

I painted today.

*smile*

I think the two worst feelings in the world to feel, are condescending and cynical. Not that it feels bad to FEEL them, but that I hate it when other people feel that way. Its kind of like emotional sin for me. Snobbery of the mind.

I feel this way because thats "just the way i am" - which basically transalates into iv thought about it and this is what i THINK which means at the end of the day i just dont wanna change. And you know something, theres no point argueing about it, because honestly babe, thats just the way i am ;)

"Twinkle Twinkle - The Suicide Story"

Twinkle twinkle little bitch

what the fuck do you think i wish

to lay you down, to open you wide

to spill out your guts

t'see what i can find inside.

A stomach, a liver, a big intestINe

Bits of guk that are holding it all tight.

Sew you up, kiss your lips,

and wait to see what heaven will miss.