rock isnt rock
unless its hard
unless its louder then its hard
and most importantly
until it makes sense...

Just listening to some music... writing down the things that strike me... things i can hear.. that speak to me.

loose you way, and i will follow
here today, and here tomorrow.

boys who crawl away from her door,
but they come back again...

Theres a moment lost in time,
when she says hush
im on your side
its just the two of us ... wow what a line

I can still smell you on my fingers
and taste you on my breath

A mistaken moment of sanity amongst the quiet contention of the insane and oblivion.

The way I look at you,
heaven in my eyes,
hells fire in my soul.

Broken heart, burning with desire,
flames eternal, lost in nothingnes,
whispering, watching, wary,
for the slightest touch,
the slightest, recognition...
of things that once were.

black eyes, white skin, angel take me away. Lost in the thoughts of this worlds futility, while amazed at the grandeur of it all. Biological entity lost in our self importance, convincing ourselves that there is more to living then just the struggle for survival. We make the differentiations between existing and living and yet deap down we wonder whether there really is a difference. We believe we are all important, because we know the inner workings of quantam physics and have unleashed nuclear power. What we dont realise is that all our scientific discoveries are nothing more then explaining a phenomena that we observe with our limited senses, by using previously "proven" theories. In the end it all comes down to labelling things, and revelling in our labels. We say that g - acceleration due to free fall - is 9.8 m/s. Metres per second? metres, a distance in physical reality that we have marked off with a peice of chalk and then standardized with a steel rod. Seconds? Even more dubious, a distance in the NON physical reality of time, supposedly now defined by the distance that light travels. Light travels? give me a break. In the end, we have given a numberical value to something, except weve based that numerical values on these little standardized portions that weve devided the world into. My, we should be so proud of ourselves. We believe we are special because we have rationality, how rational is it that we have defined social norms such as marriage, and yet the rate at which we ourselves cannot uphold our own social norms is rising. How rational is it that we can abandon our offspring in dumpsters because they make too much noise. How rational is it that we can systimatically kill off our own race, and yet we are not canibbals, we just kill them to watch them die. How ratioinal is it that we make use of our "superior knowledge" to harness nature so that we can drug ourselves into oblivion, and remove ourselves into a world as sensory constant as a mothers womb. Should i go on? I think you get the point.

You believe in Gravity? I say gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.

Bet you you couldnt prove me wrong...

Wheres the rationality of humanity now?

I - R - O - N - Y

Sometimes sitting all the way across the country can mess with your head. Mess with your thoughts.

I messed up... im sorry.

But - atleast i proved myself RIGHT. Jumping to conclusions means your always wrong, and i have now become a living breathing example of that.

Again, im sorry.

You think im sad because its cool. You think im sad because i want to stand out. You think i like the image, the tortured soul, the crucifixed man, in pain for eternity, and all that...

All i wonder, is why you think im sad at all...

I now orient my life, around phone jacks in the wall. No longer do the five senses send a rush of blood to the brain. My neurons now require the pulses of electricity transalated into ones and zeros to spark off my reality. Do I live here? or do I float somewhere in cyberspace. Plug me into the wall, extend my arms around the world. This reality consumes me. I see the world in 1024 x 768. Someone increase my resolution, im loosing site of the details. Cant zoom in, everything gets blurry. Lets take a step outside this box. Lets float you and me. Maybe were all objects of some superbeings class. Maybe were just variables in somebodies program. I think i feel like crashing this world. I feel like breaking this box. I feel like diving into the blue blue ocean... i dream of looking at the sky through the blurry blue waters. I feel like breathing. Its been so long since i have. You hear that?... thats the sound of me breathing... breathing... breathing.

Variable Lost...
Code Dump...
Aborting - confused by previous errors.

Its interesting... how this feels... its like a coldness... surrounding your skin... engulphing you into its deap embrace. Whats so different about this and all the cold embaraces that ahve come before? nothing. Except the fact that this embrace starts at my feet, and ends at my neck... my mind is left open, bmy brain is left warm in its comfortable gooieness... life is now perceived through nothing more then the senses left above my neck... what is destroyed... feeling. Touch. probably a good thing if you think about it. touch can get you killed. How? itll distroy your mind... take you away to a place, where everything is gone, you are gone, you are lost. lost. lost.
Have you ever been lost?... i dont mean in your mind... i just mean lost... lost your way along the street... trying to find something. Actually thats kinda different... when you find yourself lost when your looking for something... then the goal is not to particularly get un-lost. But to just find your destination. But thats all besides the point... have you ever just been wandering around... just walking... and found yourself lost. Round a corner and suddenly realised that you dont know how you got there, youve never seen that street before, and when you turn around you realise you dont recognise that street either. Actually thats an interesting point... when you realise your lost... do you even turn around? or do you enjoy the feeling, the feeling of NO ONE in the world knowing where you are, not even yourself. It can be an amazing feeling, especially if you happen to be lost in a forest, with the light shining through the trees, and wherever you look, things are incredibly different, and yet, they all look the same. It can be an amazing feeling, and sometimes, it can scare you out of your MIND.
Have you ever been scared out of your MiND?
It can be an interesting feeling. It can be fun. Loosing your mind means you break the crust that you have formed around your mind, releasing the fresh skin to the weather of this world. Can you handle the storm?
Storm... storm... storm.
Would you like to join my Storm?
Would you like to dance in the rain?
Would you like to get washed overboard, and perhaps drown yourself
in this ocean of thought.
Would you like to loose your mind?
Would you like to loose yourself?

I have broken the crust, and the fresh skin is tingling...
Would you join me for a drink?

Kiss the petels, make sure their lilac, keep your eyes open, and dont forget to smile.