Its been a long time since iv written something on this page... i tell myself its because i dont have the time, i tell myself that im busy doing other things like LIVING life instead of taking time out to attempt to WRITE about life.

I tell myself, bullshit.

I think its more the fact, that iv lost myself to apathy, that iv gone into that stage again where i just dont care and now at this juncture in my life im being pushed into making decisions that effect more then just myself, and im at a loss - at a complete loss at how to handle such decisions. Do i look after my own interests, do i look after the interests of others, when others are involved to i take the safe path just to make sure no one gets hurts, or do i take the plunge in the hope that things will come out better then theyve ever been before... for everyone involved.

im at a loss.

I have a playlist, titled "go somewhere inside my head" composed of the oddest most ecclectec collection of songs from over... and the most interesting thing is NONE of this music is stuff you would catch me listening to a couple of weeks ago. Formatting my entire pc and then loosing all my backups (including over 4500 photographs which thank GOD i recovered) means i have to put my music collection of over six years back together again from scratch, i guess that forces you to listen to a lot of different things:

heres the list:

Tori Amos - Merman
Alanis Morrissette - King of Pain (Unplugged)
Avril Lavigne - Nobodies Home
Bush - Out of this World
Claude Challe & Ravin - Path of Love
Claude Challe & Ravin - Trumpet Thing
Claude Challe & Ravin - Bombay Mix