I hate this... the feeling of being weak. Of needing someone else. Someone reading this... might think this is about her. Get off your high horse, your nothing to me now. This writing concerns someone of a much higher importance then you - someone who will never read this.
I hate feeling like i need someone. Need someone to be around, to talk to, to never leave.
I hate lieing in bed, memorizing the exact way my ceiling looks, every crack in the paint and every ripple in the building. I hate not having the night swallowing me up and taking me to a place where no matter how bright and sunny or dark and scary, my mind is calm. I hate the fact... that night doesnt come to me anymore. I hate the fact that i lost what i had. I hate the fact that i let it slip, for a dream...
I wonder why... i even bother. Bother to try, bother to live, bother to breathe. If it would just stop - maybe there would be peace. Thats all im looking for... a little bit of peace.
A little bit of peace inside of my mind - inside of my heart - inside of my world.
A little bit of peace. Thats all...
I hate feeling like i need someone. Need someone to be around, to talk to, to never leave.
I hate lieing in bed, memorizing the exact way my ceiling looks, every crack in the paint and every ripple in the building. I hate not having the night swallowing me up and taking me to a place where no matter how bright and sunny or dark and scary, my mind is calm. I hate the fact... that night doesnt come to me anymore. I hate the fact that i lost what i had. I hate the fact that i let it slip, for a dream...
I wonder why... i even bother. Bother to try, bother to live, bother to breathe. If it would just stop - maybe there would be peace. Thats all im looking for... a little bit of peace.
A little bit of peace inside of my mind - inside of my heart - inside of my world.
A little bit of peace. Thats all...
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3 Comments:
Mad Girl's Love Song
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
- Sylvia Plath
umM sylvia plath put her head in the oven
how is that supposed to be hopeful and reassuring?
The bow is bent and drawn...make from the shaft.
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